It’s My Anniversary… so Let’s Talk Relationship Tests

Wednesday, February 24, 2016


Man, it seems surreal that Brian and I get to celebrate our three-year anniversary today. It seems like just yesterday I was dumped by the a****** before him, who had suddenly left me when he simply decided that he wanted to move on.

I could write post after post about the s*** that my ex had put me through, and maybe I will, one day. Today, I’ve decided instead to tell you all about tests. No, not math or science tests; I’m here to talk about relationship tests.

I’ve seen too many times people leaving their partners because they can’t handle the stress that their relationship brings. I hate to break it to you guys, but every single relationship will bring forth stress. You can be the most in-love couple in the entire world and you’ll still be presented with trials and tribulations that you’ll have to deal with together. That’s life. That’s just…how it goes. 



I’ve decided to inspire you guys a bit when you think you’re going through a rough time. I’ve included a timeline of our relationship below, and all the tests that we had to deal with! Take a look:

Feb. 24, 2013: Brian asks me out (I’ll include a post on this, too. It was really romantic).
Mar. 1, 2013: Brian tells me he loves me at a party (and I say it back).
Mar. 2, 2013: Brian tells me that his ex is three months pregnant (but he wants to stay with me).
Mar. 2, 2013: After tears, some thought and consulting with others, I tell him I will stay.
Late March 2013: Brian’s ex texts me. She is having a baby girl. I cry.
April 2013: I face backlash for suggesting adoption. Family members say mean things behind my back.
May 2013: We have a huge fight about the baby. I storm out. He cries.
May 2013: My grandfather passes away. I struggle to find acceptance.
May 2013: Brian goes to make baby shower registry with ex the day after my grandfather passes.
June 2013: My brother adopts a dog named Leo. I become very close with Leo.
July 2013: I go with Brian and ex to doctor appointment. I feel the baby kick.
Aug. 16, 2013: Brian goes to hospital. Ex is in labor.
Aug. 17, 2013: At 12:45 a.m., my stepdaughter is born. I get drunk and sick. I feel worthless. I cry.
Late August 2013: I meet stepdaughter for the first time. I hold her. I feel afraid.
September 2013: I serve his ex court papers. I feel upset that all of this is happening.
September 2013:  Brian takes Leo in, as my brother is no longer able to care for him.
Sept. 21, 2013: Brian asks me to marry him.
Late September 2013: I give Brian the ring back. I am not ready for engagement. He cries.
October 2013: We are given a baby kitten. We name him Milo.
October 2013: Court battle begins. Brian only wants visitation.
Dec. 25, 2015: Brian proposes again. I say yes.
March 2014: Court is over. We won visitation. I continue to bond with stepdaughter, but struggle.
May 2014: I start gaining weight. Not sure why.
June 2014: I am laid off from my full-time job. I cry.
June 2014: I land another full-time job.
August 2014: Brian leaves job for new job. He does not get enough hours and barely makes money.
September 2014: I move in with Brian in his apartment. We fight a lot due to living conditions.
September 2014: Overnights begin with stepdaughter. She doesn’t like to sleep and I feel stressed.
September 2014: Leo is re-homed because of his anxiety. I cry and am angry with the world.
April 2015: My uncle passes away. I struggle with acceptance. Brian is there for me.
April 2015: Milo has a seizure and passes away. We cry.
June 2015: We move out of our apartment and into Brian’s parents’ house. We don’t like it.
June 2015: I am diagnosed with PCOS. I feel like my life is over. I cry. Brian comforts me.
August 2015: Tension builds up as we feel very claustrophobic in our living situation.
September 2015: Brian finally lands his career job!
September 2015: We are offered a house to lease at an amazing price!
October 2015: We consistently fight with certain people and it causes tension in our relationship.
November 2015: We finally move into our first home.
January 2016: We find ourselves struggling with bills. It causes a lot of fights, but we hold on.
Feb. 24, 2016: We take a few deep breaths and tell each other that we still love each other.

There’s so much more than I didn’t include in this timeline, but I think you get the point. We’ve had to deal with his ex’s pregnancy, his child’s birth, court, unemployment, monetary struggles, blended parenting, my hormones (LOL, thanks, PCOS!), moving in together and a lot of other things. There were so many times when both of us wanted to just, let go, but we continued to hold on. We still face our challenges, like learning to budget our money in order to pay for our house, insecurity issues (mainly on my side; I still struggle with sever jealousy), partially raising a sassy toddler, and finding time to just chill out and love each other.

Sometimes, when I feel like there’s no point to our relationship anymore, I think about things that have kept me so indulged in us as a couple. For example:
  • I still get butterflies when he hugs and kisses me.
  • I have trouble falling asleep if he’s not next to me.
  • We can sit around and play video games for hours without a care in the world.
  • We have four gorgeous pets who we love, adore and raise together.
  • I love watching movies and shows with him that he’s introduced me to.
  • Sometimes, we are spontaneous, which is always an amazing time.
  • He loves my parents and my parents love him (this is a BIG deal, people!).
  • He’s handsome. ;)

So, even after a day of tears, uncertainty and a desire to give up, he crawls into bed with me, wraps his arms around me and, suddenly, everything seems alright. We go through countless struggles, but we go through them together. It’s not about avoiding problems in your relationship; it’s about facing them head-on together. That, to me, is what love is really about.




And with all of this, I say, happy anniversary to the love of my life. Here’s to overcoming many more challenges together.

So tell me, friends: What are some of the relationship tests you've had to overcome? Let's share some of our stories. Leave a message in the comments!


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