Stepmother Insecurity Pt. 1: Being a Stepmom With PCOS

Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Being a stepmom can be so difficult, especially for women like myself. I grew up never wanting kids; I hated them. Even now, I find myself frustrated when they cry and they just annoy me. I was such a party girl and a piece of that person is still very much inside of me. So, when the man I was in love with told me that his ex was pregnant, I was ready to drop the entire relationship and get out!

To be perfectly honest, I really was in denial about the whole thing. I mean, there was no way that life would really do that to me, right? Wrong.

I really love him and I loved him then, so I kept thinking that a love so strong wouldn't be possible with a child, thus increasing my denial that I'd actually have a stepchild in my life.

I honestly thought my life was over when she was born (you can read about my transition into stepmotherhood here).

The thing is, my life didn't end. A new chapter had simply begun.



I stopped partying 24/7. I started to learn to control my anger and anxiety and seemingly consistent mood swings. I began to feel love for this child. It was a love I hadn't felt before. A love that made me feel like I wanted to protect her from all of the bad things in this world. I still want to protect her, and I tell her all the time that I am here for her, always.

Life on Long Island: My Drunken Karaoke Experience

Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Drunken karaoke is probably one of the best things on this entire planet. Living in the quiet suburbs of Long Island, sometimes I just need to get out and get rowdy. I used to do this on the regular, but I'd stopped going out after my PCOS diagnosis and subsequent weight gain. Since I'm on this journey of self-acceptance and self-love, I said to myself "F&ck it, I'm dolling myself up, going out and getting drunk."

I have no shame in my bathroom picture game.Shirt: Fashion to Figure | Leggings: Kohl's | Shoes: Payless

This night was actually monumental in more ways than one. For the first time in a long time, I felt so good, and it wasn't just because of those delicious blue tropical Long Island iced teas that I'd be drinking all night. I felt confident. My hair was done, my makeup was done and I wore heels! Granted, my feet were killing me the next day, but beauty is pain, amirite?

Falling In Love With Your Bad Self ❤️

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Listen, people. I’m not going to go ahead and tell you I’m totally loving myself and perfectly confident and my life is perfect, because that’s not really the case. I still have so many insecurities and, many times, I’m uncertain about a lot of things. But, I’d say probably a couple of weeks ago, I had one of those epiphany-type things and was like, “Whelp, I’m ready to love myself because I’m really sick of feeling like shit all the time.”



I was diagnosed with PCOS last year and, one year before that, I started to show all of those annoying symptoms. I gained weight. My hormones went all out-of-whack. The hairs under my chin started showing themselves a little more than usual. And, before you knew it, I’d stopped caring about myself (which was something I seriously, seriously did back in 2012 and 2013, when I had just turned 21). I actually loved myself, like, SO MUCH, despite going through a bunch of crap with my ex at the time, who took pride in putting me down and making me feel bad.

After a lot of thinking time, reading some self-help books and indulging in numerous self-love blogs , I recently decided that it’s time to stop “waiting on my weight” (and all the other crap that’s been putting me down) and take control of my feelings.

I can’t give you a step-by-step guide to falling in love with yourself, but I can tell you some of things I’ve felt over the past few days. The easiest way to love your life is by loving yourself first. And so, in honor of International Women’s Day, I want to tell you why you should love the beautiful, amazing woman that you are!

Holly's Style: My 2016 Spring Wish List

Monday, March 7, 2016
Spring ... it's finally here!

Well, I hope it is, anyway. With daylight savings time just around the corner (remember to set your clocks an hour ahead on Sunday, March 13!) and 70-degree days approaching this week (this is actually true; it's going to reach 74 degrees on Thursday!), it's almost time to pack away the heavy coats and gloves, and stock up on some goodies for the warmer weather!

Spring isn't just a season, it's a huge online shopping destination that sells quality products from more than 900 brands. Founded in 2013, the company continues to grow and employs more than 80 people!

The Spring website describes the brand as follows:
Inspired by the beautiful boutiques lining New York City’s Spring Street in SoHo, we created our brand to emulate the experience of having all these shops available in one place.
The best part? Spring offers free shipping on all orders. I don't know about you guys, but I swear I'll fill up my cart with $200 worth of stuff and refuse to check out if there's a $20 shipping charge (I can't be the only person who does this!).

Anyhow, Spring has some great accessories for the upcoming season, and I thought I'd share my wish list with you guys. Keep in mind, this is a reflection of my style, and I know that not all people share a similar taste. But, whatever, yo! This is what I like and these are the must-haves for my closet this spring.

A Letter to Myself 10 Years Ago: Volume I

Friday, March 4, 2016
Dear 15-Year-Old Self,

You’re 15, flirty and thriving. High school is a blast, isn’t it? Cute boys are everywhere, and since you developed your feminine assets at such a young age, you can be quite the center of attention, even though you’re only a freshman.

Enjoy this time and embrace your womanhood! You tried out for the school play a month ago and you landed the role of Jan in Grease, which has made you feel like you’re on top of the world. In fact, finding out that you landed a big role in one of your favorite stories of all time was probably the best feeling you’d ever felt. However, while I’ve got your attention, there are some things, good and bad, that I want to tell you.

Six Unwritten Rules of Successful Blogging

Thursday, March 3, 2016

It's kind of funny; I don't have as many readers as I'd like to have on here (yet!) but, lately, people have been approaching me and asking me how to start a blog.

I’ve been an avid blogger since the very young age of just 13. I’ve used all the sites – LiveJournal, Xanga, Blogger, WordPress and even Tumblr. As a journalism major at Hofstra University, I had to learn all aspects of communications – print, broadcast and, perhaps most importantly, digital (including social media and blogging). My former classmates and I were told that blogging is essential to establishing ourselves and our brands as freelance journalists and writers.

Blogs can be used for anything and everything. You want to make a blog and only write about your favorite movies released from 1980 to 1985? Do it! Want to create a blog and cater all of your posts to your cat? Why not?! Do you want to start a blog and use it to get people to buy your business products? Sure!

No matter what kind of blog you're planning on launching, there’s a lot of ‘unwritten rules’ in the world of blogging, and I’d love to share some of them with you.


Kitchen thangs: Using shelves when you're out of cabinets

Wednesday, March 2, 2016
My house is a little weird. I love my house, don't get me wrong, but there's a couple of weird things about it that I definitely want to improve. Like, the fact that my house has four bedrooms and a ton of closet space, but only one bathroom with no closet or vanity. And the fact that there's two decent-sized bedrooms upstairs and three closets, but absolutely no plumbing and no thermostat up there. And there's no dining room, which kind of sucks because it's super hard to entertain guests. The other weird thing about my house is the lack of cabinet space in my relatively small kitchen.

When I first took a tour of the house, I knew right off the bat that the kitchen would need the most work. The walls were a dirty white with only the tiniest of cabinets and a greasy, broken microwave. With a little TLC and creativity, we managed to make our kitchen a liiiittttle bit more practical AND pretty!


I have PCOS, but I will never be PCOS: My story

Friday, February 26, 2016

Well, this explains why you haven’t had your period in seven months. You have PCOS.

A tall, thin middle-aged lady with curly blonde hair, my midwife, Linda, continued to keep her eyes—which were masked by reading glasses—on the laptop screen in front of her. I immediately broke down in tears as I lay on that cold, hard table with my legs spread in the stirrups. My mother was in the room with me, too, teary-eyed and saddened by my reaction to the news. I had read about polycystic ovarian syndrome and all that it does to women. I read stories of women who never had babies and would never become mothers. Hearing Linda tell me that PCOS is super common and that many women have it didn’t make me feel any better. In a sort of dazed stupor, I sent Brian a text:

I have PCOS.

My Favorite Photo in 2015: A Photo Diary of my Cruise to Bermuda!

Thursday, February 25, 2016
When I was browsing the stunning Social Print Studio website, I was challenged and compelled to write this post. I've used some "pretty pictures" in various blog posts, including, "Why 'Growing Up' Isn't as Bad as it Seems." See, I love taking pictures. I love taking selfies, and landscape photos, and pictures of my pets, and basically everything. But, unfortunately, I don't have a special camera (yet!) or Photoshop on this computer, so I just use my phone and do what I can to take a stellar photo when I'm desiring to take one.

So, there was one simple question that I needed to answer: "What was your favorite photo that you took in 2015?"

I immediately thought about one of the best experiences of my 2015 year: my cruise to Bermuda. Goodness, I could move there and live there forever. The place is so, so beautiful, and so full of culture and life. It's an island that never sleeps, and there's always a new place to explore. When we cruised there on the Norwegian Breakaway, we docked at the Royal Naval Dockyard in Bermuda for three days.

Being the diva that I am, I said in a balcony room with my bestie, so we had the most amazing view ever from the ship. I was on the 10th floor, so we were high up, which allowed me to capture really great shots from my balcony. I remember our first morning docked; I woke up and the curtains were drawn. The room was essentially pitch black (those curtains were insane!). The boat wasn't rocking at all, and I heard people through the glass door to our balcony. I got up, still kind of half-asleep, and stumbled my way over to the window. I stepped outside and saw this:

Click the image to enlarge it!

It’s My Anniversary… so Let’s Talk Relationship Tests

Wednesday, February 24, 2016


Man, it seems surreal that Brian and I get to celebrate our three-year anniversary today. It seems like just yesterday I was dumped by the a****** before him, who had suddenly left me when he simply decided that he wanted to move on.

I could write post after post about the s*** that my ex had put me through, and maybe I will, one day. Today, I’ve decided instead to tell you all about tests. No, not math or science tests; I’m here to talk about relationship tests.

I’ve seen too many times people leaving their partners because they can’t handle the stress that their relationship brings. I hate to break it to you guys, but every single relationship will bring forth stress. You can be the most in-love couple in the entire world and you’ll still be presented with trials and tribulations that you’ll have to deal with together. That’s life. That’s just…how it goes. 

Some of my old makeup looks!

Thursday, February 4, 2016
Eye model: Angela Sasso | Makeup by: Holly Anne Silva
Things have been crazy busy for me! Between my volunteer work, my full-time job, my SECOND job (it was only seasonal, so I'm back now!) and the move into my house, I've barely had time for anything.

I wanted to use this post (and this bandwidth LOL) to show y'all some of the old makeup looks I've done, but never had a chance to blog about.

If you want any step-by-step tutorials for these, or simply want to know that products I used, leave a comment below and I'll tell ya!



Why “Growing Up” isn’t as Bad as it Seems

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

I’m 25 now, and I’ll gladly admit that I often miss being 21. It was a time when I had little worries, was able to go out with my friends almost every night without consequence, and I felt more confident than I had ever before. I had little responsibility.

Brian misses being 21, too. He’s 26 now and he has a kid. Things change when you have a kid. Hell, things change when you have a step-kid. When he was 21, he sang in a band, threw parties, and enjoyed the attention he got from girls who threw themselves at him because he was that mysterious bad boy with the studded leather jacket and Mohawk that sat atop his head.

Somewhere between 21 and 25, I lost a lot of friends. Not due to fights or anything like that; we kind of just went our separate ways. Somewhere between 21 and 25, I was diagnosed with PCOS and gained more than 50 pounds. Somewhere between 21 and 25, I acquired a ton of bills and debt. Somewhere between 21 and 25, I attained the responsibility of a stepdaughter every other weekend.

Barbie has finally evolved + a few words to Kirstie Alley

Thursday, January 28, 2016
GUYS,

I am so unbelievably excited about this. The child in me and the adult in me are cheering on Barbie, as it has recently revealed that it has incorporated three new body types into its line!

Photo courtesy of health.com
After nearly six decades of creating thin, out-of-proportion dolls with tiny waists, round hips and the infamous thigh-gap, Mattel has decided to add three new body types to its line: petite, tall and curvy.
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